Dirty

26th February 2014

I lay spread
wide open,
marinating
in my sweat,
challenging your pleasant
and decent,
seducing your nice
and honest.

I will open wider
for you.
Seek pleasure
in my festering wounds,
I dare you,
let my pain infect
your dispassionate hunger.
Come, get contaminated
by my rotting bitterness
and my fears,
Come into my
stinking open arms.

Feel dirty,
I dare you,
let
the need to get away
from my repulsive brazenness
make you retch.

Let my legs
draw you in
to sink into
my dirty love;
and leave me there
spread for more!

December Evening

5th December 2013

December evening
hangs off my roof by its toes
like dark chocolate
sadly sweet,
bored,
it ignores
those Christmas lights drowning it out.
Too inspired to spare me its charm.

I run away to warmer deceptions, to rainier indulgences.
I spend months
running away from your love

And you?

You run in the opposite direction, far,
far away from me,
But
you bump into me right around the globe
at the other end of another year, inevitably
shadowing my sun dappled skin.

We can’t run away from each other
I was born when you came
And you end at me
Till we start afresh
away from each other
all over again.

You're my December evening.

Bengal Flavour

Her own fire and spice tempered to the warmth to soothe cold hands and hunger pangs. She gently flaunts her seasoned mild with a subtle reminder of her sparks, as if to a husband. Like the pallu which could flutter wild in the wind, but comes around and rests on her shoulder instead.
She accepts the zing in mustard, like rebellion in a daughter. She blends and binds it with the mellow taste of home, with such tender loving authority. She boasts of the excessive sweetness of her desserts, like the virtues of a son.
And you can taste the lineage and family in all the varied suitors on the platter wooing your taste buds. Like the keys of varied shapes and jingles fastened securely to her pallu. Born to differ and bred to belong!

You'll get me home

Since you melted our roof
and poured it down
the addicted throat
of the seductive world

Since you bartered our home
in the foul market
of all that glitters
and whores and gold

I loiter tasting seasons
broken and destitute
baring love to weather
ruminating faith, blurry

When I near those ruins
I'll have you wait
by that lone door
I'll have you listen
to catch my footsteps
I'll be relief
to your forlorn eyes
"Honey, where have you been?"
you'll say to me then
"It's been so long
I was beginning to worry!"

Scribbles

One day she went and brutally chopped off her mane just to see if her beauty would still be looked upon as majestic. As the weight of it fell away from her being, she felt light, different, crippled and scared. She looked in the mirror to find some sort of notorious pixie staring back at her. Yes, her short cropped ends made her dimples more visible, made her look strangely younger and gave her the air of a loving brat. She also somehow managed to retain a mysterious hint of majestic somewhere in her eyes....so it had never been in her mane. She was beginning to feel a tiny swing in the step she was about to take off of her chair. She turned around with that joy steering her.

But that. That is when she saw the mane at her feet, her heart broke and it left her out of breath before she could think. It used to ride the winds, that mane..That Mane....that mane sang of unspoken power...and now it lay limp on the ground like a defeatist prey awaiting its lowly fate. And she had hacked it away from her body. Her breath slowly came back now as her handicap sunk in...a majestic handicap!

#Reverb13 Day 6: Memories are made of this

What precious things have you gathered in 2013?

Which memories from this year do you wish to keep with you always?

Maybe 'people who have been there for you' is a cliche that has been used way too many times and lost its meaning. This year especially that's my best memory. People who have been there for me NO MATTER WHAT! My mom who left making breakfast in the kitchen for my entire family hurrying off to work, to hold me for as long as it took while i was crying. My sister who listened to the same story and reassured me the same way the more than millionth time, even in her sleep. Can't call her just my best friend, cos a best friend is anyone and everyone and she is my Nikita Deshpande, who possibly took the worst of me this year, kept aside the shit she was going through, the bullshit I added to it, understood and helped me, even though it demanded a lot from her and wasn't very rewarding. The twin soul, joined to my soul at the hip and yet not joined, who made me make myself happen again. My steadiest and most precious affair, who shared my pain and bared me to hers, knowing it was anything but easy for her to do that. All those people who were there this particular year for me without a word, when there were so many they could have said to me.
My memories are them being my rock this year in their inimitable way!

#Reverb13 Day 5: Risk

What was the greatest risk you took in 2013? What was the outcome?

The greatest risk I took this year, was also probably the greatest risk I've known myself to take ever so far. I know this because I am trembling as I write this. I am trembling the way I trembled when I shared my writing with someone, or when I told the love of my life that I loved him or when I frankly held my niece. I am trembling at the thought of sharing this.
Having and sustaining faith in something that has been called impractical and unhealthy for me for very valid reasons and praying for it is the biggest risk I have taken. I have no idea how long the wait is. I have no idea what fate my heart is going to meet by the time this goes anywhere. But its a risk, its a risk that takes a lot more than I realize. I go insane, I go numb giving to this faith what it takes, and it feels like the breath sucked out of me when someone punched me in the stomach.
But I cannot see sense without this faith anymore.
Letting me take the risk of having this faith, a lot of people who love me and are worried about me are taking a risk too. And I am putting at risk, my responsibility to assure them that I am okay. I might sound highly vain, and I promise I am not and you can buy it if you will.

Prayer, faith and love! That's my risk. Its a risk everyone takes and undermines. Its the biggest risk I have taken this year and probably ever until now..