Post Infidelity

"Now listen to me carefully," she said to him through tears and gritted teeth, "Go for it! Fight for her. Convince her that she likes you, because she is not happy with her boyfriend and you know that as well as she and I do. Convince her to give you and her a chance at whatever it is that you both might want. Because the injustice that she is about to do? She'd rather do it to you than to her boyfriend, cos he doesn't deserve it. You do. And one more thing, don't call me ever again."

Months later, when she was still getting over him cheating on her with that girl, but she was better, they spoke. "Its ok," she said to him, keeping the pain in her voice down, "I only took away from you what already didn't matter to you anymore..."

Damning of the Ocean

She let her angels and demons
churn the murky waters in her
to get the right words
to save her

Her sleepless eyes awoke
with the happiness
that she was afraid
to have the audacity to feel

Her Mohini
was just starting to
seduce her demons away;
When
the RahuKetu
of somebody's something better
swallowed the first few droplets
of the elixir restoring her

A cold dark gaping void
replaced her Meru
and shrieked in the faces of her gods,
rendering them forever mortal!

Such A Heartless Kaam-Se-Matlab-Rakho World!

They took away twitter and gmail from me. Now I feel like someone tethered me to my work and confined me behind the bars of the thoughts of my broken heart and my lost love! Why doesn't the world understand?

Miles to go before I do

Flickering candle in the distance
Keep me walking strong
Let the cold feet crossing miles beside me
Trick me into feeling warm

For the aisle is too long and lonely
And we stand at opposite ends
And crossing the distance’s worth breaking my heart
But the return alone would never end

Flickering candle in the distance
Please help me to know
If we do belong together
Then help me to not let go

For the aisle is too long and lonely
And some things old haunt some things new
And fears and blames, some earned, some borrowed
Make our love feel something blue

Flickering candle in the distance
Let my heart be deceived
That forever awaits my leap of faith
Let my stumbling feet believe

For the aisle is too long and lonely
And it’s just too dark a night
And I can’t see our promises make it all the way
Cos we’re no more black and white

Solitaire

Their hearts came together
And they called it home
He was her king
And he crowned her his queen
And she’d rule over his heart for evermore...


A distant diamond
Merrily twinkled its promise
Of a resplendent future
To be branded someday into her finger

And room was made
For the numbers they’d create
And they smiled their way from one room to another
And forgot their way
To their home together
More space needed, more rooms needed
Away from each other

Her jacks and her jokers haunted him
And they screamed at her through the dark bloody walls
And he chose the aces of the tinsel strewn places
And lay delirious in empty holes
All the clubs in the world weren’t enough
To go as far as he wished to
And yet stay as close as he ought to


She shovelled at his love lying peacefully in its grave
And invoked the ghosts of all his promises
And they hovered and swooped upon him until he hid
Away from them, away from her,
Away from her spade soaked afresh in her blood
And finally the tomb gave way
Revealing the remains of his love
Eaten by maggots, cold in decay

The roof tore apart, the walls collapsed
The throne beneath her crumbled to the ground
He shut his eyes to the blinding diamond
He escaped the burden of the falling castle
She stayed
And watched broken dreams tumble upon her
She sunk beneath the beautiful debris
She painfully breathed the last of her love
As her heart welcomed the pierce of the shards
And she lay there buried alive
Beneath their fallen house of cards

"Abbe, coffee maangi thi, kheer nahi!!!"

I struggle again today. I Shudder. I Stop. I Struggle Again. How much I struggle to empty the taste of morning, quickly getting stale and cold in my cup.

Every morning, the kabhi shehed shehed of my office (no! not in a romantic way! not in the least!), brings me a cup of "Good Morning Puja! Ye aapke liye. Na nahi karne ka. Khaas aapke liye banaake laaya." (Still not a blossoming romance, you pretend cynics, greedily waiting to lap up the first signs of a love story!)

The glass full of kesar milk I had, before leaving home, churns my insides. I look at his hopeful smile. Oh For Pete's sake, you buggers! I am like his daughter and there is definitely no cheeni kum in my coffee! Let me get on with the so-not-a-love-story! So....back to his INNOCENTLY hopeful smile. I look at the tray in his hands. My taste buds wince at the anticipation of the sweetness, as I take a cup and thank him with a smile.

With each painstaking gulp of morning (inching towards noon), I pat my own back for being such a kind person. After all, the kabhi shehed shehed of my office brings me a cup full of morning every day, and I take it. Knowing I am going to hate it, I gulp, just to not disappoint that hopeful smile. So nice I am!

As the day wears on, the kabhi neem neem of my office surround me, swoop down on me, pounce on me and demand their work. I find myself scampering around my office, jabbing away frantically at the keyboard, missing lunch more often than not and being pulled into the dreaded katghara for repeated interrogation. He passes by occasionally then, with a joke or two. This is when I admire

that man with his hopeful smile, holding out his ever-welcoming tray to me. I long for those few relaxed moments when my only struggle is to empty a cup of extra sweet morning.

Life humbles you in so many different ways every day! I take back that pat on my back. I need to see that smile every day. I need to struggle through the generous serving of sugar in my cup. I need to feel that I am such a nice person for not breaking his heart. So do a lot of the others here and in every other place.

And so goes he to every table, with the same ready smile, the same coaxing tray, letting every person do him a favour, filling a little extra sugar in every cup to get through the stings of the bland day ahead. I might be a nice person for those two seconds, but that man is a true man of gold.

It's sad! When the whole world is on your case pounding their fists and demanding "What's the story???", that's when I remember and am grateful for my morning glory...Well, there's a last gulp left. Here's a toast - to My Morning Glory! Who is yours?

Hourglass Martyr

Prelude:
Her tragic pout
pointed
at the Heavens accusingly
She was heavy with grief


Sorrow clung to her bubble
Vain sorrow
like drops hanging
from a cloud aching to rain
Heavier


Her grief got heavier
'Leave, you!' she cried
A few grains slipped away
Obediently


The grains were weighed down obediently
'You, you, all of you
None wants to stay by my side!
Think I don't know?'
She menaced them
through gritted teeth
and tore at her tragic bouffant..


'Flee, flee away from me!'
screamed she
'Don't stay;
Why would you?
Nothing in my world,
Nothing, yes nothing!'
Her outstretched palm
clearing the space for nothing
Obediently


Nothing dawned obediently
'Its EMPTY EMPTY EMPTY!'
she finished,
pout accusing the Heavens
Obediently.
Outstretched palm
casting out the last of the grains..


Poem:
She peered
sadly
at the sand below
miles below her

'Alas!' she sighs 'The glass,
is always fuller on the other side..'